are you too shy? too pushy? do you cry too much? do you cry too little? do you pull your hair? other's people hair? are you afraid of spider? or water tanks? or stuffed animals? from the Reader's Digest Indonesia (RDI) Feb 2009 ed.
sometimes i don't like talking, am afraid of others will think that what i say is stupid. sometimes i'm afraid of high places, especially those without railing. i'm afraid that the wind will blows me and i'll fall. and more afraid of i'll jump! it's not the suicidal thought (though i admitted that it rarely thought), but it's the sense of flying or floating. the desire to jump frightened me. i'm so proud of my brain and not too keen on my heart. once, ones said that i'm heartless. nothing fazes me emotionally for a long span of time. but sometimes i cry on the movie. sometimes i'm afraid of intimacy. i just don't trust human.
the good news is it's all normal, at least at some points :), but the line is thin :p. many of us suffer from depression, anxiety, or another pshycological problem. i used to don't give a damn care when something wrong with my thinking or feeling or behaviour. many people don't either. but the brain is an organ of the body and we should seek treatment when something wrong bout it. i've started to talked to someone, a nonjudgemental friend. i've tried to put more trust in people (a certain people). and i feel better. as the chinese proverb says, a sorrow shared is halved; a joy shared is doubled.
what i'm trying to say is, like the RDI said, to be human is to be quirky :). there're no group of perfect people out there. but if you feel something wrong with your thinking or feeling or behaviour, talk to someone (someone with crediblility), it might help :).
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